| i got a new lj name |
[Jul. 24th, 2004|03:28 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  creative | ] |
hey everyone...just wanted to let yall kno i hav a new lj..its broken_ainjelle...ill be addin ya..u guys better add me back..lol..well..cyas later |
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| ~think be4 ya speak~ |
[Jul. 18th, 2004|11:10 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  weird | ] |
hello there...whats up?...well..n2mh...just got home from ocean walk....me tiff and cody went to go c i,robot...it was a pretty koolio movie..i liked it...::ACHEW::..im sorry..im allergic to bullshit....LoL...i love it i love it....anywayz..man..them damn girls sittin behind us wouldnt shut up...OH..but theres more...oh yes...lol..we were walkin on the beach and we were tlakin about the movie..well tiff was sayin sumthin and she goes 'yea and that damn ('N' word)...then she realized who was walkin next to us...(sum black ppl)...oh boy...was that bad..u bad bad gurl..so yea..they started followin us..and wouldnt shut up about it..then one of them goes hey u..this girl wants to fight u..it was sum white chick...he keeps sayin it..i get frustrated and turn around...Lmao...omg ill never forget the look on that girls face when i turned around and asked her if she was the one that wanted to fight...she jumped back and said'no no no..i dont wanna fight u..i wanna fight her'..and pointed to tiffany...oh boy oh boy...lol..it was priceless..hmm...anywayz..i think thats about all i wanted to say about tonight..except tiffany learned a valuble lesson...~think be4 ya speak~...lol...well..thats it..im out..gotta get up early tomorrow...
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| and at what point do u realize ur unhappy?..i dont know when it all unraveled.... |
[Jul. 17th, 2004|10:39 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  melancholy | ] |
maybe i was tired of hurting...
well...today started off pretty good..up until i had to pick up my bro from work...well...my luck..my dad was still there...ya kno my first thought was oh boy...but in the back of my head i was thinkin..koolio..my dad is here..maybe we can talk and stuff ya kno...well...was i wrong...he didnt even look at me when i walked up...the only thing he said to me was 'hey chele'...thats is...nothin more....geez..u just dunno how much i wanted to just hug him..and tell him how much i miss him.....y is it i hate him SOOOO much...but yet i still love him...i dont get it..sumtimes i get jealous of my bro cuz he gets to spend time with him...i dunno its just so hard...i wonder if he ever thinks about us..or misses us...but anywayz....yea that lil turn of events ruined the rest of my day..i mean dont get me wrong i had fun..but it was still in the back of my mind....and i dont think i will forget it either....oh well...hmm...i dont really hav much more to say..so i guess ill go..oh..matt...i wanna kno how ur concert went...i hope u had a kick ass time..u better hav...anywayz..damn..my concert is only like..how many days away?...well it will be a week from tuesday...wow thats not too far off is it....wow....i cant wait....ok..im leavin this time for real...
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|10:55 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | the frogs croakin outside | ] |
soo..today...well..i ended up sleepin in till 11:30..which is unusual for me right now..cuz normally i wake up at least once in the mornin and fall back asleep ...but i just slept thru till 11:30...after that..i kinda hung out around the house...tiff called so i went over her house and watched gothika cuz cody let her borrow it...after that cody called and came over with the movie big fish..we wathed that..then he had to go bring the movies back to blockbuster..so we went with him...hmm..after that we just kinda hung out...-ive been rapped by a gay man-...oh..everyone listen up..im takin the GED test tomorrow...wish me luck!..cuz i think i need ithmm..well i guess thats pretty much it...
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| a pretty koolio day |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|12:47 am] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | _Saliva_ | ] |
well...id have to say..today was pretty damn koolio...i went to kenzi's b-day party..boy was that crazee...too many lil kids runin around everywhere..lol..but hey kenzi had fun..thats all that matters..well..after that i came home..hung out for awhile..then tiffany called askin me if i wanted to go to the movies with her and cody..of course i said yea..so we went and saw spiderman 2..lol..man we had alotta fun..but we always hav fun together...hey tiff remember the guy sittin next to me gettin a lil too close...in the movies..lol..then them damn asians stealin our foot rests...then the guy in the ride thing...'dude i think ur hott'...hmm..what else....lol..well im too tired to remember..but i had fun and the movie was good too..hmm..i was thinkin of what else i should post..i knew i had sumthin else...but i cant think of it...oh well..when i do..if i ever..think about it..then il write it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2004|12:08 am] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | -SeEtHeR- | ] |
hey dudes..and dudettes..guess what?...i got me a job..oh yea...im good..lol..im workin at KFC now..hells yea..ima be smellin like a chicken when i come home from work..lol..so yea..anywayz..that was good news...more good news...i bought me a new cd today..~SEETHER~..hells yea man..ive been wantin this cd for awhile now..im hooked on the song broken..damn..its my fav...but anywayz..hmm.....i cant wait till the comcert!!...its gonna be kick ass man...july 27th..what thats like how many days away?..idunno...but its close enough..lol..hmm...nothin else really to say about today..well..thats it i guess...unless i cum up with sumthin else to say..which i doubt..cuz im tired...not really thinkin..so ima shut up now..and just like go...
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| HaPpY bIrThDaY mEkEnZi!!! |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|10:40 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | seether ft. amy lee - broken | ] |
well...be4 i go any further..i just wanna say happy birthday kenzi...wow...4 years old..damn..shes growin up so quick...where's all the years goin to?...its crazy...well..anywayz...its official!...i signed up for my GED test today...i will be takin it monday and tuesday...hmm..today was pretty awesome...i got to hang out with zack and taryn...we went over to the main campus at DBCC to register for the test..then we ended up stayin over there for awhile and goin to the cafeteria to eat...it was pretty fun...got to kno zack a lil better..hes a pretty koolio dude..lol...then after that i came home..a lil birthday party for kenzi...it was good...but yea..thats about it...
oh..robert...i had the weirdest dream about u last night...it was crazee...hmm..i havent talked to u in awhile...im wonderin if ya even think about me anymore...u probably dont even bother lookin at my live journal anymore...
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2004|09:40 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  exhausted | ] |
yup...its been ahwile AgAiN since i last updated...yea..havent really known what to say..but i had a pretty eventfull 4th of july weekend..so i thought i'd share it with yall...well....i dont think i really did much of anythin friday or saturday...but yesturday..which was 4th of july..my sis steve and kenzi came over...we all hung out and stuff...then tiff called me..and i ended up goin over her house..then we called cody..and we went to buy sum fireworks..it was pretty funny...then we went to taco bell....oh boy...im never goin to that taco bell again...man tiff..wasnt that 'milky' lady a biotch...lol...damn....she was soo rude...but anywayz..after that..we ended up cumin back to tiffs..and we did our make-up...lol..cody let us do his make-up too...i have to say tiff..we did a pretty damn good job...;)soo then...we came back to my house and lit the fireworks...after that we drove to the city center...for sum reason..the werent lettin us get close enough to the lake..so we're like screw this....we hopped in the car a drove to the beach...im glad we did..cuz it was awesome...we had alotta fun at the beach...right tiff...lol...yea it was great...so then we finally got home around 11...tiff stayed the night....so this mornin we woke up around 7:30 and went to the springs...i say we had fun today too...but man am i exhausted....but yea..that was my eventful 4th of july weekend...i didnt get too into detail cuz..i dunno...lol..i just didnt...but yea..i think thats it...OHH!!...wait a minute...i dont think i told u guys the ood news yet...i dunno if u remember about the predictor test at DBCC...well...i passed it!...i get to take my GED test july 12th-13th...im kinda nervous...but anywayz..yea that was the good news....well..i think ima go now...im kinda tired..and i gotta get up early tomorrow..soo...piece out |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2004|10:29 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| | gloomy | ] |
WoW!!!...its been awhile..i kno...sorry..its just been weird...dunno how to explain it..but anywayz..not much has happen to me...well..im not gonna lie..alot has happen..but ya kno...im not gonna get into it...umm.theres really not much for me to say..i've just had sum ppl on my case about updatin..so i decided id finally do it...but u ppl better comment........Something needs to change soon...i cannot hang on for much longer..i cannot pretend to be strong for much longer but then again what options do I have?i feel so pathetic..i'm trying so hard not to let this get me down this time...trying so hard not to give in to weakness but it never ever seems to work...it's impossible!i can try to pull myself together as much as i want it never actually makes a difference in the end.... |
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| behind my smile is everything you'll never understand... |
[Jun. 16th, 2004|09:33 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  frustrated | ] |
Do you know what its like.. to be betrayed by everyone.. Instead of counting on one hand,the number of people against you.. your counting on one hand, the number of people who are still on your side.. you feel like even you're starting to turn your back on yourself..
Then to look to the only person who knows your innermost thoughts.. and suddenly you don't even recognize them.. Dont recognize yourself.. And all you can think is this time things can't be fixed.. When everything slips away till all that's left is a face in the
mirror that you swear isn't you.. Do your hands shake when you're all alone? And secretly, deep down, you know the one thing that you want, that would make some of all of this okay. But no one thinks twice about giving you just that? Do you ever want to melt away and fade into the walls.. Make yourself numb.. and see if anyone would
care at all..
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| good morning |
[Jun. 12th, 2004|09:37 am] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  blah | ] |
damn...i got up early this morning...i thought for sure i was gonna end up sleepin in today..but oh well...umm..i read tiffs journal..and i saw her outcome on that thingy..and i thought it was funny...so i had to do it....plus i did sum others...check 'em out...
| robertsweethart's LJ stalker is my_angel_chele! | | my_angel_chele is stalking you because they saw your picture and fell in love.. They are also getting jiggy with your best friend! |
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| plz make this pain go away... |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|11:54 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| | *bRoKeN* | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | silent screams | ] |
y is it so hard to find help??...i mean..i finally get the courage to actually say..i need help...but when i do..ppl just run away...i dunno..maybe becuz i dont let them help...i just get so frustrated cuz they think they understand..but they dont..they have no idea...but yet i want them to understand..i wish there was a way to explain it all...but theres not..and im not even gonna try..cuz theres no use..
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|11:09 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| | curious | ] |
today was an ok day..LoL..elizabeth ashley kayla and kyle had me laughin pretty much all day today..we almost got in trouble..but anywayz..after school we went to riters to c about my job..sry ppl..i lied..i guess the jackass on the phone lied..i went for the interview today..lets just hope i get the job..ok..well..back to school..we were talkin about sumthin today that really made me think..alot..our whole life is pretty much based around trust..i never knew how much i trusted ppl and how many ppl i trusted with my lfe everyday...but yea well thats pretty much it for today...
To the side of myself i have lost:
I'm sorry to myself, for which i never allow to feel happiness. I'm sorry for supressing myself. For banning myself
from the things i once loved, things i long to love. I'm sorry for this internal fight i put you through with 'depression'.
I'm sorry for losing all my confidence. I'm sorry for all the pain and suffering i have submit you to. I wish i could
change, i wish i could go back to the way i use to be, but i've pushed you down so far...i fear i'll never beable to
return to you.
OH...be4 i go..i just wanna thank brent for everythin..uve been a great help..thanx for the talk..i really needed it.. |
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| silence can be golden..but being silent to long..can mean hurtful things... |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|10:13 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | ~Story of The Year~ | ] |
ok..well..i didnt get the chane to update last night...soo..ima update what i was gonna do last night...
yea..i kno...its been awhile since i last updated..i dunno lately i havent been wantin to write..like i dunno what to say anymore..but anywayz..onto today..well..i had a good day..it was ok ..didnt really do much up until around 6..me cody and tiffany went to c harry potter..yea..i kno..what a shocker..me goin to c harry potter..i hate to admit it but it was actually a pretty good movie..even tho i was pretty much lost cuz i havent seen the 1st 2 movies..but yea..it was good..after that we walked on the boardwalk at the beach..it was nice..they must've had sum kinda religion thing goin on..cuz they were havin a concert..singin about god..oh boy...but it was all good..cuz after awhile they were settin off fireworks...so u really could hear what they were sayin..but the fireworks were awesome..but yea..after that..i came home..
ok..so thats what i did last night..now im gonna tell yall what i did today..hmm..well...we all kinda hung out around here..then my sis steve and kenzi came over..and we all went swimmin..LoL..it was great..i had a really good time today..after taht me geoff my mom and bro went to target..my bro bought me the story of the year cd..isnt he just the best..lol..not really..lol..OH..i have good news..well..i applied for a job at ritters not to long ago..and they called today sayin i got the job!!..im sooo happy..hmm..well..thats about it for now...i gotta get to bed..cathc yall later...*piece* |
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| it seems i'll never wake from this nightmare... |
[May. 31st, 2004|09:58 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  shocked | ] |
well...theres not really much to say..i mean..i was hopin me and tiff's plan would work..i mean it did...but..not for long..it was only a temperary happiness....anywayz..today -WAS- good...we had a BBQ then we all went swimmin...my mom sis steve kenzi me geoff and russ...it was fun...but i dunno...im just not happy...for sum reason i cant be happy anymore...i dunno what it is...
+Slowly Going Crazy+
I can feel it in my heart
in every step I make
Im slowly going crazy
with every breath I take
I just cant handle
all this shit everyday
all this fucken stress
that just wont fade away.
They say it'll get better
but what do they know
pathetic words of comfort
lies, white as the snow
I dont want your pity
all i want is a person
a person who cares
someone who can save me
from this bullshit life i live. |
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| a day to remember... |
[May. 29th, 2004|11:12 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  hopeful | ] |
today was good...it started off pretty shitty..but ended really good..ok soo..me and geoff hung out till about 4..then me and my mom went to pick up my bro from work...we went to target and best buy....damn my mom really pissed me off today...so we got home...i called tiff and told her i was cumin over..so we chilled...cody came over and then we went to chickfila...then we went over to target..bought us each a beach ball and a marker and had ppl sign our 'balls'...lol...it was great...then we went to walgreens..finally we came back to tiff's house..walked around...and now im back at home...tiff i hope our plan works for tomorrow...cuz i really need it...i need sumthin to rid me of my depression..i guess u could call it that..but anywayz...im out..
its amazing how someone can break ur heart .. but still .. u insist on loving them with every single broken bit
...you don't get to choose, you just fall in love. And you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know that you love them so much except sometimes they just drive you completely insane and no one can explain it and the reason its so confusing is because its love. but if love didn't have any challenges, what would be the point?...
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| uhh....yea... |
[May. 27th, 2004|11:06 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | Smile Empty Soul-With This Knife | ] |
well today started off good..i mean i got outta school at 12 today..then taryn came over....what a BAD idea that was...taryn im sorry about the whole pills thing..i mean..i dunno..but i guess ur right..i mean u seem to kno what my intentions were...right??...nah...guess again...u have no idea what im goin thru...u never will...even if u tried to understand u'll never be able to..i dont think anybody will......but AnYwAyZ...after she left i was in a better mood..i mean i went to wally world with my mama..got me 2 cds...lostprophets and smile empty soul....oh yea...lol..then i came home...chilled with tiff and geoff...we went to the park...we hav a new friend..lol...his name is travis...pretty kool kid...but anywaz...ima go now...gotta get up early tomorrow...nighty night |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 26th, 2004|10:46 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| | lonely | ] |
i don't know how i feel anymore... i guess i'm scared more than anything i'm trying to figure out what to do but i'm ending the way i began, with nothing i want to be alone i can't and now that i am i'm so lost in my mind i can't get out ....
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| yea..today started off good... |
[May. 25th, 2004|10:17 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| | pissed off | ] |
well..i guess u could say today was good...went to school..then after that me and taryn went to the mall...i got me a new bag for school..its pretty koolio lookin...umm..after that i came home..called tiffany..started walkin to her house..got side tracked by geoff russ and brandon..so i hung out with them...then eventually tiffany came outside..and we all chilled...well..my bottom lip was pretty much healed after the episode i had with taryn...but..geoff..tryin to be funny..went to pretend like he was gonna hit me..and actually hit me..lol..it was pretty funny..i mean nothin serious..but still..after that..we kinda had a lil water war goin on.....it was good...until i got home...my mom is stressin over loosin the house...i dunno..she said sum pretty hurtful things tonight..but honestly...i dont care anymore...im over it...i cant wait till i get myself a job..and start savin money..cuz im gettin my ass outta here..im sick of it...sick of everythin...
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| 1st day of DBCC |
[May. 24th, 2004|10:05 pm] |
| [ | ~*~CuRrEnT mOoD~*~ |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | ~!~CuRrEnT mUsIc~!~ |
| | Shrek | ] |
well...today was good...it was my 1st day of DBCC..and it was actually pretty damn good...i really really liked it..umm..im already meetin new people..so yea..after school me and taryn went to checkers..::yummy::...then i came back and kinda chilled..but now i think ima go..taryn's over for the night..so ima go chill with her..ttyl..buh byes...
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